I want to do it but I just can't.

I want to do it but I just won’t let go! This Cenote represented my entire life.

Check out the Video. 

I could SEE myself taking action and doing things to set myself free or make me happy… I could also feel myself getting what I wanted, And YET when it came down to…. jumping leaping taking the Next Step making a Call telling myself the truth taking responsibility for my *ish letting go of excuses initiating that conversation writing that email letting go of a toxic friendship ending a partnership or simply acting on my TRUTH…. I BAILED.

I would stop and come up with some BUSTED excuse, BLAME somebody, find a distraction, AND create some outlandish illusion about something that MIGHT happen.

In just a few short moments I convinced myself of:

1. being swallowed up by the water

2. not having a way to get out of the cave

3. that one ancient crocodile was going to eat me

4. I was going to have a heart attack upon hitting the water and my daughter would be stranded in a foreign country without her mom because I was DEAD! You name it, I said it to myself in a very short period of time.

These illusions are never based in facts… Just my imagination running wild, causing me to stay STUCK, CONFUSED, CONFLICTED, ANXIOUS, and LONGING for more. I can laugh now, however, in those moments standing on that wooden plank I was terrified.

In those moments in my life when I could feel my spirit calling me to make that POWER MOVE and I REFUSED to move, felt like torture. You will see in this video I was so terrified my words were gibberish. I was not even making sense.

I had even manipulated some man from Alaska to jump in before me and wait for me. I neglected my daughter of food. LOL! The operative line in this video is, “I WANT TO DO IT BUT I JUST WON’T LET GO”!

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOUR HEARD YOUR SPIRIT CALLING YOU TO TAKE THAT ONE NEXT STEP, nudging you to do that one thing outside of your comfort zone?

AND you BAILED, missed your opportunity and stewed in Regret, Self-Hatred and Conflict?

The worst part about this is the Disappointment – walking away with that - DAMN feeling.

NOT THIS DAY!

My Ego kicked to the curb.

FEAR Needed to sit her little tail down someplace and hush. MOMMA had some business to take care of. It was time for ME to Step UP, Lean In, and Face my “ISH” once and for all and LIVE.

No More Acting Clueless No More Acting Helpless And PRETENDING Like, “I don’t know” what is wrong or what to do. My Spirit said, “STOP PLAYIN’, Jump, I got you.” - “STOP PLAYIN’, Leap, NO body is coming to save you” - “STOP PLAYIN’, I love you.” - “STOP PLAYIN’, Trust me” - “STOP PLAYIN’, Jump, you will be better for it” - “STOP PLAYIN’, I am YOU and its time to stop running.” 

And so I did.

Terrified and pushing ALL Bullshit aside,

I jumped and have yet to look backwards.

And as usual I felt so AMAZING about myself and the accomplishment, I wondered what all the fuss was all about.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

What step can you take today that is of your spirit?

Not 10 steps, just that ONE!

What step is it you need to take that comes from a place of your deepest knowing?  

Desi Wenzel
Desi Wenzel is a Self Care Consultant and Mindset Coach helping overwhelmed, overworked superwomen find their joy, peace of mind, and passion for life and her business through Digital Courses, Coaching and Retreats.